Essay 5 “The Effects of Divorce”

I have witnessed divorce in varied processes. The after math endlessly unfolding. The causes seem so insignificant while, the effects appear at times, colossal, immeasurable and poignant. I have seen financial, emotional and spiritual stability compromised, effecting children and who they are, become, and how they perceive the world around them. The children are completely dependent and blameless yet it is their lives, their foundation, and their spiritual growth in peril through divorce.
The bickering over child support by parents too financially stressed due to supporting a house hold alone, will consume time and energy that could have been spent actually parenting the kids. It is so unpleasant and uncomfortable to overhear and witness for the little ones. They really don’t understand why it feels like it does. Unfortunately this causes kids to find unhealthy ways to distract themselves from the unpleasantness.
When a single parent is devastated by the divorce, that parent's emotional needs become paramount. Their pit of emptiness casts a ominous shadow over the needs of their children and likely to remain well into that child’s adulthood. How is a child going to mature emotionally into an adult when they have had to cater to the emotions of the one that is supposed to be there nurturing, teaching, guiding them? Therapy? Too late. If anyone thinks a pill or some kind of exercise in imaginary time travel on a quest to one’s own “inner child” could succeed in reprogramming a human condition, then pop away, and don't miss your flight. Good luck.
Here's the thing, vows are made between two people from the heart, in church, under whatever God it is those two people will eventually teach their children to believe in, a government contract - the Marriage License - is signed, stamped and filed in the hall of records, rings are worn by each, names are changed, is this not thee most sworn-to contract and promise that anyone enters into? On EARTH?
Children learn from their parents that for any reason under the sun it can and will be broken, then where will they ever learn to completely trust themselves, their religion, or another human being? I don’t have an answer because there isn’t one. They learn that no one on Earth can ever really be completely trusted to honestly love another, remain loyal, keep a promise, a vow, honor a contract or honor their deity.
I hope that the majority of the human race is ignorant to what I believe I know about the effects of divorce because when asked to examine it, I find it a travesty to one and all in our society. I believe it has surpassed money in the “Root of all Evil” department. Because it affects the behavior and priorities of those that grow up in divorce and look at our world today. I think we all know something about the effects of divorce.