It seems like getting ass back to So Cal is taking forever. First a gut wrenching stomach flu then a pneumonia like head and chest cold so severe I've actually quit smoking. (me! not smoking! me - who has smoked so long I couldnt imagine ever not smiking and really honestly can not remember life before cigarettes) I don't have any traveling money yet and was hoping to work a bit to make some before i leave but I have been ill for almost 3 weeks!
Worrying about my son is not helping either. I know he's an adult now. But just because he is 19 years old doesnt mean that he is ready and mature enough.
I feel that I have failed him. I haven't been a pillar of stability or a model of success for him. I failed to ensure that he live within guide lines and learn to take responsibility this year. I was powerless to stop him from throwing everything away incliding his goals and direction.
I would feel so much better if he was going to Cali too. Where - dare I say it? - where his father can be an influence and role model and help him through the transition from childhood and dependence to adulthood and independence.
Aaargghhhh
We can only change those things in our control. I am sure you were far better at raising him then you give yourself credit for. In the end you just have to hope that it's enough and try not to worry. Iam so proud of you for stopping smoking. I did it for 16 years and quit 5 years ago. Keep it up baby!
ReplyDelete