It brings me no pleasure to learn of your loss and pain.
I want to say more but I can't seem to resurrect what has long been soaking in apathy - the safest place to lay to rest thoughts, feelings, hope and compassion (in a world where nobody really "love's". Not beyond the words, anyway)
this is where I found that nothing matters because we are fools to think that anybody - even our own flesh and blood will stand behind us.
Any minute they will turn. It may seem as there is no reason, or that their minds and hearts were poisoned by someone else... but there's always the bottom line factor.
The devotion to getting and having and/or protecting and keeping money or "ends".
The person that has more in pocket seems to have less in their heart.
No matter how much "love and loyalty" exists between family, friends, lovers ... everything
is only worth it's weight in gold, so to speak.
And last time I checked, the human soul only weighs 21 grams.
Monday, September 18, 2006
Wednesday, September 13, 2006
In honor of the 5 year anniversary of 9/11
Yes I know it's a couple days late but consider I wrote and sketched this 10 years & 11 months before "9/11" actually happened. I had just turned 21.
I never put these two works together until 2001. Although I did them within days - weeks of eachother I never made the connection. There is only one person in the drawing yet, the poem speaks of many.
I titled it: "Who Were They" because at the time I wrote it I had no idea who these people were. Whose story flowed from me onto paper effortlessly and without pause.
I would ask anyone that would take the time to read it what their interpretation was asking , "who were they?"
All those years prior 2001 there was no right or wrong answer. I heard a lot of interesting takes on it ranging from, the lost city of Atlantis to the Vietnam war.
The only thought I had was that I had to include: "who, where, when, why, what and how"
After rereading it many times I concluded that each reference to "they" isn't necessarily about the same "they" in each and every verse while the entire piece is obviously about a collective event that they and "they" all seperately played a part in, so to speak.
Have I lost you yet? Welcome to the mind of Mel!
(I analyze therefore I am)
Since 9/11 I've brought this out to some of my friends and family that had given their opinions all those years ago and they, like me, get a little chill from it.
My brother also pointed out that the man in the drawing kinda resembles Rudy Giuliani.
Who Were They?
© Melinda Lantz-Theissen Marinko 1990
I wonder what it was that started
As their faces filled with fear?
And why it was that they were parted
From those they held so dear?
I wonder why it happened this way
The lives twisted around?
And who it was that would have to pay
The people on the ground?
I wonder how they all turned out
Those souls lost in the crowds.
Or what it was that had filled them with doubt?
The faces in the shrouds.
I wonder where they could be right now?
They’ve hidden from the rain.
Or when they said they've made a vow
To never live in vain?
I wonder who led them all away
On to a safer place?
And where it was they fell to pray?
The ones who fell from grace.
I wonder if they plan to come back
To face what’s left behind?
And why it was that the evil pack
destroyed all it could find?
© Art and verse original works of
Melinda Marinko (formerly Lantz-Theissen)
Created in October 1990
I never put these two works together until 2001. Although I did them within days - weeks of eachother I never made the connection. There is only one person in the drawing yet, the poem speaks of many.
I titled it: "Who Were They" because at the time I wrote it I had no idea who these people were. Whose story flowed from me onto paper effortlessly and without pause.
I would ask anyone that would take the time to read it what their interpretation was asking , "who were they?"
All those years prior 2001 there was no right or wrong answer. I heard a lot of interesting takes on it ranging from, the lost city of Atlantis to the Vietnam war.
The only thought I had was that I had to include: "who, where, when, why, what and how"
After rereading it many times I concluded that each reference to "they" isn't necessarily about the same "they" in each and every verse while the entire piece is obviously about a collective event that they and "they" all seperately played a part in, so to speak.
Have I lost you yet? Welcome to the mind of Mel!
(I analyze therefore I am)
Since 9/11 I've brought this out to some of my friends and family that had given their opinions all those years ago and they, like me, get a little chill from it.
My brother also pointed out that the man in the drawing kinda resembles Rudy Giuliani.
Who Were They?
© Melinda Lantz-Theissen Marinko 1990
I wonder what it was that started
As their faces filled with fear?
And why it was that they were parted
From those they held so dear?
I wonder why it happened this way
The lives twisted around?
And who it was that would have to pay
The people on the ground?
I wonder how they all turned out
Those souls lost in the crowds.
Or what it was that had filled them with doubt?
The faces in the shrouds.
I wonder where they could be right now?
They’ve hidden from the rain.
Or when they said they've made a vow
To never live in vain?
I wonder who led them all away
On to a safer place?
And where it was they fell to pray?
The ones who fell from grace.
I wonder if they plan to come back
To face what’s left behind?
And why it was that the evil pack
destroyed all it could find?
© Art and verse original works of
Melinda Marinko (formerly Lantz-Theissen)
Created in October 1990
Friday, September 08, 2006
Tuesday, August 01, 2006
Nobody has an ounce of passion for anything outside of their ego and empty pit of want and and need.
The humble man is instinct.
Love is a four letter word and you....
you are just another Debunked haunting...standing aside all the other ghosts I once thought to be real.
I just find this world so completely dissapointing.
EVERYTHING is backwards.
Nobody is ever what they pretend to be. Nobody has any balls.
The humble man is instinct.
Love is a four letter word and you....
you are just another Debunked haunting...standing aside all the other ghosts I once thought to be real.
I just find this world so completely dissapointing.
EVERYTHING is backwards.
Nobody is ever what they pretend to be. Nobody has any balls.
Trix are for Kids
A little rabbit is running happily through the forest when he stumbles upon a giraffe rolling a joint.
The rabbit looks at the giraffe and says, "Giraffe my friend, why do you do this? Come. Run with me through the forest! You''ll feel so much better!"
The giraffe looks at him, looks at the joint, tosses it and goes off running with the rabbit.
Then they come across an elephant doing coke. So the rabbit again says, "Elephant my friend, why do you do this? Think about your health. Come. Run with us through the pretty forest, you''ll see, you''ll feel so good!"
The elephant looks at them, looks at his razor, mirror and coke, then tosses them and starts running with the rabbit and giraffe.
The three animals then come across a lion about to shoot up.
"Lion my friend, why do you do this? Think about your health! Come. Run with us through the beautiful forest and you''ll feel so good!"
The lion looks at him, puts down his needle, and mauls the rabbit.
The giraffe and elephant watch in horror and look at him and ask, "Lion, why did you do this? He was merely trying to help you."
The lion answers, "That little bastard! He makes me run around the forest like a f**king idiot every time he's on ecstasy!"
The rabbit looks at the giraffe and says, "Giraffe my friend, why do you do this? Come. Run with me through the forest! You''ll feel so much better!"
The giraffe looks at him, looks at the joint, tosses it and goes off running with the rabbit.
Then they come across an elephant doing coke. So the rabbit again says, "Elephant my friend, why do you do this? Think about your health. Come. Run with us through the pretty forest, you''ll see, you''ll feel so good!"
The elephant looks at them, looks at his razor, mirror and coke, then tosses them and starts running with the rabbit and giraffe.
The three animals then come across a lion about to shoot up.
"Lion my friend, why do you do this? Think about your health! Come. Run with us through the beautiful forest and you''ll feel so good!"
The lion looks at him, puts down his needle, and mauls the rabbit.
The giraffe and elephant watch in horror and look at him and ask, "Lion, why did you do this? He was merely trying to help you."
The lion answers, "That little bastard! He makes me run around the forest like a f**king idiot every time he's on ecstasy!"
Sunday, July 30, 2006
Have a complaint?
Ever have a jelly fish pumped into your scuba diving suit.... into your ass?
This is a question you should ask yourself the next time you are having a bad day at work! (Don’t ask.)
Ever wake up Christmas morning to find that your gifts are 3 dead puppies?
No?
Well now, that fruit cake or those socks don’t seem so bad, do they?
This is a question you should ask yourself the next time you are having a bad day at work! (Don’t ask.)
Ever wake up Christmas morning to find that your gifts are 3 dead puppies?
No?
Well now, that fruit cake or those socks don’t seem so bad, do they?
Sunday, July 23, 2006
It's all been down hill... for so long. Now I don't even care.
Maybe you thought I'd make it...or just don't know that I'm not even there.
Memories shadowed by yesterday.
Nothing has a hold on me... it's pulling me away.
My heart lives like a piece of ice - numbered days - melting all the time.
Tell me now that I've gone off on my own why I'd miss you?
Nothing on my shoulder I'm weightless but....
Wake me before I get the chance to fly.
I'd give you my chains link by link if life was just a dream....
But I'm only blaming truth for what's become of me.
The same chains that hold me down could set me free.
R.A.P.
Maybe you thought I'd make it...or just don't know that I'm not even there.
Memories shadowed by yesterday.
Nothing has a hold on me... it's pulling me away.
My heart lives like a piece of ice - numbered days - melting all the time.
Tell me now that I've gone off on my own why I'd miss you?
Nothing on my shoulder I'm weightless but....
Wake me before I get the chance to fly.
I'd give you my chains link by link if life was just a dream....
But I'm only blaming truth for what's become of me.
The same chains that hold me down could set me free.
R.A.P.
Saturday, July 08, 2006
Sunday, July 02, 2006
Trying To Get By
Eternally knowing
and not to forget
Infectious and growing
but not to regret
Shamelessly blaming
the ones who don't know
smokeless flaming
and failing to glow
impossibly trying
to make it all great
unstoppably crying
to make it all wait
incurably yearning
trying to get high
reluctantly learning
trying to get by
painfully healing
the wounds of youth
constantly feeling
the wounds of truth
intensely ignoring
the things that you hear
immensely exploring
the things that you fear
Melinda Lantz Marinko
copyright 1990
and not to forget
Infectious and growing
but not to regret
Shamelessly blaming
the ones who don't know
smokeless flaming
and failing to glow
impossibly trying
to make it all great
unstoppably crying
to make it all wait
incurably yearning
trying to get high
reluctantly learning
trying to get by
painfully healing
the wounds of youth
constantly feeling
the wounds of truth
intensely ignoring
the things that you hear
immensely exploring
the things that you fear
Melinda Lantz Marinko
copyright 1990
Saturday, June 24, 2006
My son, my heart... My David Julian. I miss you.
Although he wrote this a few years ago... Lately this is my poem to him.
"RAIN"
You creep in the shadows...
Your Demons consume you in hellish fire
You dance for them like a marionette puppet
The ones you love just watch in torment
Your pain tears me apart
And I am helpless against the intense flames
I fall to my knees and pray for a cleansing rain
But my prayers fall on deaf ears
Will I be forever subjected to watch the torment?
Or will that rain finally come?
By, David Julian Theissen
Copyright 2003
Wednesday, May 24, 2006
Lightening Hits Apartment Complex in Canby OR.
Well we just got hit with lightening. It was the loudest thing I ever heard.
The power went out as it cracked then went back on.
Luckily no one was hurt and no fires started.
The power went out as it cracked then went back on.
Luckily no one was hurt and no fires started.
Friday, April 14, 2006
Childhood
Classmates is always sending those annoying emails and they have banners all over the place. We all eventually go to the site and sign up, add our schools... why not? It's free.
Then one day your very first real friend from kindergarten through 3rd or 4th grade finds you and everything floods back. You smile and say "wow!"
Then it occurs to you how big of a part they've played in your childhood. Maybe even who you are. Then wonder, what if your family hadn't moved and continued to go to the same schools and graduated together....
That is if you were me.
Then one day your very first real friend from kindergarten through 3rd or 4th grade finds you and everything floods back. You smile and say "wow!"
Then it occurs to you how big of a part they've played in your childhood. Maybe even who you are. Then wonder, what if your family hadn't moved and continued to go to the same schools and graduated together....
That is if you were me.
Wednesday, March 08, 2006
Poetry... What I have left, anyway
PAINTING THE RAINBOW
Living is green - the color of growing.
You’re part of the scene - you're naturally showing.
Anger is red - the color of blood.
Going out of your head? Now rise above.
Being is clear - no color at all.
And things that you fear - will color your fall.
Craving is purple - the color that's rare.
You jump over hurtles to find yourself there.
Decision is gray - the color between.
You bend and you sway. On one thing you lean.
Loving is gold - worthy of wealth.
Don’t let it be sold or laid on a shelf.
Your sins are all black - the colors combined.
You can’t take them back there is no rewind.
Life is a rainbow you paint everyday.
The 'you' that you show the life you display.
Copyright 2002
ON THE RISE
I feel it on the rise,
Boiling down just beyond.
I hear it with my eyes,
scenic sounds now they're gone.
I keep it with my gifts,
Set it free inside this cage.
I steal it like a kiss,
Damned by glory loved by rage.
I dream it all day long,
Fearless doubt hopeful loss.
Righteous doing wrong,
curve-less shapes desert moss.
I know it with my flesh,
Surface depths empty lust.
Shaded under mesh,
the bird undressed, then turned to dust.
I BREATHE
I walk and I hear
My spirit again.
You talk and I'm near
To where it begins.
I breathe and you feel
I am more than my skin.
We see and it's real
As it comes from within.
I AM OUT HERE.....
For my Daughter Alyssa Rose
I am out here, out here once again,
Yet so much has changed
And it's all from within.
I have been there, where the light has no home
Where I felt swallowed up, lost and alone.
I am out here and you're so far away
My colors are gray and I fall and I pray.
You are out there and your spirit is strong.
Out there, where it seems
You're there all alone.
The angels are where
You need them to be,
To catch all your tears and bring them to me.
SOMETHING LESS
Later than an Early Bird
Fainter than a whispered word.
Easy as a mastered task
Leaking through a crafted mask.
Brighter in the depths of thought
Lighter than the sinking rock.
Dying like a beating heart
Loving just to fall apart.
SEVEN
You and me and turning leaves
Spirits free no longer believe.
the horsemen near
and the sky is falling.
uncover your ears Your life is calling.
Have courage to face
all that you regret
hold tight onto grace...
or is it too late for that?
I'll see you in heaven
with the light all around you
this last sign was seven
let's go where we're bound to.
FAITH LIGHT
Love is the only, the all, the reason we're here.
Hate is a symptom, the actions, the outcome of fear.
Mine is not giving, not having or living, but the spoon.
Blind is the anger, the hater, the one forgetting so soon.
Light comes from within us, to guide us, a force from above.
Faith is our option, assistant, the drive empowering love.
Ours is not lonely, not shallow nor riddled with doubt.
Together, we would find peace and a purpose, what life is about.
Beyond the Emerald Glass
Deep beyond the emerald glass lies a thought in which you breath
lost inside my twisted hopes ... and a face of make believe.
I'm consumed and always knowing ... the emptiness is you
All I have is this desire ...... Yet you haven't got a clue
In depths, void of heart or soul
I've found a place to hide.
Where the silence cannot find me but the laughter passes by.
How could it be I feel this way -- you hardly know me true
I used to be aloof and proud -- alone, but without you.
A VICE TO TEND
I purchased a feeling,
But now its much too high.
I find I thought of healing,
I think I found the Sky.
Masquerading in my Mirror...
Taught and forgot to know.
I watched while surfing fears,
Smiled yet, hurt too much to grow.
Side stepped .... and Off the road
(again) I know -
Whole or not: Its Down to go.
Brought forth the echoes.... Numb toes....
Gray rainbows, no mind and no soul.
I lost my goal.... Paid the tolls....
All it stole... and I'm on a roll.
If I don't bend
Against this trend, reach an end,
I'll never mend
With a vice to tend.
I must Live Love and Laugh again.
REFLECT-ABILITY
Quietly reflect into the waves
that are crashing on your sand.
Bringing with them an ever-changing power
that is beyond your own hand.
Absorb the mist; the taste; the smell;
the sounds of all you see.
Letting each approach
with a grasp of what's to come....
Then, quickly...
Set it free.
LESSONS
Souls of Simple Lessons
Enveloped in the smoke
Of their burning Delirium;
Confronting a shadow,
Implicating a thought;
Severed by their reasoning...
Then scattered throughout the ashes,
The Cinders of Sanity.
Creativity Illusive… Peace is just a vision.
After the passing they will return.
The cycle… the steps of wisdom
Our calling young & old.
Melinda Marinko
1994
September to February
Frail temper
sleeveless heart
Last September
I fell apart
Scars and stains
thoughtless friends
Just remains
of a toxic blend
Hopeful winter
an early spring
Over dinner,
I learned some things
Giddy for hours
vivid dreams
Finding power
And the means
Melinda Marinko
Feb. 2005
Isis Osiris
I found you are here
I was not sure if I was searching at all.
I looked into your eyes for so long, and.... Ohhh...
I should have known
I knew you once before or more
and it is you
I always find my way into your arms....
In your life.
When you hold me,
do you feel? Do you know what it is....
As I cannot seem to find the words to say?
Could it be you & I
yesterday Osiris or Isis...,
I am sure it was bliss.
Could you close your eyes and find your way back....
Into a moment, so far away
when we both saw days, passing into lifetimes.
Melinda lantz-theissen
1997
On Air
Implications everywhere
around me on the floor.
Breathe me in 'cause I'm on air
and dripping down your door.
Inspiration melts in me
and blends into my core.
With powers from the blessed be
bleeding into more.
Melinda Marinko
The Emerald Glass
Deep beyond the emerald glass
lies a thought in which you breath
lost inside my twisted hopes ...
and a face of make believe.
I'm consumed and always knowing ...
the emptiness is you
All I have is this desire ......
Yet you haven't got a clue
In depths, void of heart or soul
I've found a place to hide.
Where the silence cannot find me
but the laughter passes by.
How could it be I feel this way --
you hardly know me true
I used to be aloof and proud --
alone, but without you.
Melinda Lantz-Theissen Marinko 1991
Living is green - the color of growing.
You’re part of the scene - you're naturally showing.
Anger is red - the color of blood.
Going out of your head? Now rise above.
Being is clear - no color at all.
And things that you fear - will color your fall.
Craving is purple - the color that's rare.
You jump over hurtles to find yourself there.
Decision is gray - the color between.
You bend and you sway. On one thing you lean.
Loving is gold - worthy of wealth.
Don’t let it be sold or laid on a shelf.
Your sins are all black - the colors combined.
You can’t take them back there is no rewind.
Life is a rainbow you paint everyday.
The 'you' that you show the life you display.
Copyright 2002
ON THE RISE
I feel it on the rise,
Boiling down just beyond.
I hear it with my eyes,
scenic sounds now they're gone.
I keep it with my gifts,
Set it free inside this cage.
I steal it like a kiss,
Damned by glory loved by rage.
I dream it all day long,
Fearless doubt hopeful loss.
Righteous doing wrong,
curve-less shapes desert moss.
I know it with my flesh,
Surface depths empty lust.
Shaded under mesh,
the bird undressed, then turned to dust.
I BREATHE
I walk and I hear
My spirit again.
You talk and I'm near
To where it begins.
I breathe and you feel
I am more than my skin.
We see and it's real
As it comes from within.
I AM OUT HERE.....
For my Daughter Alyssa Rose
I am out here, out here once again,
Yet so much has changed
And it's all from within.
I have been there, where the light has no home
Where I felt swallowed up, lost and alone.
I am out here and you're so far away
My colors are gray and I fall and I pray.
You are out there and your spirit is strong.
Out there, where it seems
You're there all alone.
The angels are where
You need them to be,
To catch all your tears and bring them to me.
SOMETHING LESS
Later than an Early Bird
Fainter than a whispered word.
Easy as a mastered task
Leaking through a crafted mask.
Brighter in the depths of thought
Lighter than the sinking rock.
Dying like a beating heart
Loving just to fall apart.
SEVEN
You and me and turning leaves
Spirits free no longer believe.
the horsemen near
and the sky is falling.
uncover your ears Your life is calling.
Have courage to face
all that you regret
hold tight onto grace...
or is it too late for that?
I'll see you in heaven
with the light all around you
this last sign was seven
let's go where we're bound to.
FAITH LIGHT
Love is the only, the all, the reason we're here.
Hate is a symptom, the actions, the outcome of fear.
Mine is not giving, not having or living, but the spoon.
Blind is the anger, the hater, the one forgetting so soon.
Light comes from within us, to guide us, a force from above.
Faith is our option, assistant, the drive empowering love.
Ours is not lonely, not shallow nor riddled with doubt.
Together, we would find peace and a purpose, what life is about.
Beyond the Emerald Glass
Deep beyond the emerald glass lies a thought in which you breath
lost inside my twisted hopes ... and a face of make believe.
I'm consumed and always knowing ... the emptiness is you
All I have is this desire ...... Yet you haven't got a clue
In depths, void of heart or soul
I've found a place to hide.
Where the silence cannot find me but the laughter passes by.
How could it be I feel this way -- you hardly know me true
I used to be aloof and proud -- alone, but without you.
A VICE TO TEND
I purchased a feeling,
But now its much too high.
I find I thought of healing,
I think I found the Sky.
Masquerading in my Mirror...
Taught and forgot to know.
I watched while surfing fears,
Smiled yet, hurt too much to grow.
Side stepped .... and Off the road
(again) I know -
Whole or not: Its Down to go.
Brought forth the echoes.... Numb toes....
Gray rainbows, no mind and no soul.
I lost my goal.... Paid the tolls....
All it stole... and I'm on a roll.
If I don't bend
Against this trend, reach an end,
I'll never mend
With a vice to tend.
I must Live Love and Laugh again.
REFLECT-ABILITY
Quietly reflect into the waves
that are crashing on your sand.
Bringing with them an ever-changing power
that is beyond your own hand.
Absorb the mist; the taste; the smell;
the sounds of all you see.
Letting each approach
with a grasp of what's to come....
Then, quickly...
Set it free.
LESSONS
Souls of Simple Lessons
Enveloped in the smoke
Of their burning Delirium;
Confronting a shadow,
Implicating a thought;
Severed by their reasoning...
Then scattered throughout the ashes,
The Cinders of Sanity.
Creativity Illusive… Peace is just a vision.
After the passing they will return.
The cycle… the steps of wisdom
Our calling young & old.
Melinda Marinko
1994
September to February
Frail temper
sleeveless heart
Last September
I fell apart
Scars and stains
thoughtless friends
Just remains
of a toxic blend
Hopeful winter
an early spring
Over dinner,
I learned some things
Giddy for hours
vivid dreams
Finding power
And the means
Melinda Marinko
Feb. 2005
Isis Osiris
I found you are here
I was not sure if I was searching at all.
I looked into your eyes for so long, and.... Ohhh...
I should have known
I knew you once before or more
and it is you
I always find my way into your arms....
In your life.
When you hold me,
do you feel? Do you know what it is....
As I cannot seem to find the words to say?
Could it be you & I
yesterday Osiris or Isis...,
I am sure it was bliss.
Could you close your eyes and find your way back....
Into a moment, so far away
when we both saw days, passing into lifetimes.
Melinda lantz-theissen
1997
On Air
Implications everywhere
around me on the floor.
Breathe me in 'cause I'm on air
and dripping down your door.
Inspiration melts in me
and blends into my core.
With powers from the blessed be
bleeding into more.
Melinda Marinko
The Emerald Glass
Deep beyond the emerald glass
lies a thought in which you breath
lost inside my twisted hopes ...
and a face of make believe.
I'm consumed and always knowing ...
the emptiness is you
All I have is this desire ......
Yet you haven't got a clue
In depths, void of heart or soul
I've found a place to hide.
Where the silence cannot find me
but the laughter passes by.
How could it be I feel this way --
you hardly know me true
I used to be aloof and proud --
alone, but without you.
Melinda Lantz-Theissen Marinko 1991
Thursday, February 16, 2006
JADED
To be honest with you I do not think anyone carries a more jaded outlook or complete absence of "giving a shit" about anything…, anymore, than I do.
I’ve found there is absolutely no one that a person could believe in or trust.
The entire 9,999,000,000,000 (or what ever the ungodly population of earth is now), are just soul-less beating hearts wrapped in flesh parading around this planet as human beings. Living always just in the moment. Practicing their lies and lines, even pissin’ on whoever is too close to them, spinning blindly ever inward. Dedicated only to being the caretaker of his or her own superficial desires, cravings and perceived needs.
Money, Sex, “ends”, status, pride, want, self-pity and separate thinking is all people seem to be made of in this world.
If this is not hell than what kind of crazy magical unimaginable place could heaven be?
Maybe the rapture already came and we all just don’t realize that we are the damned - the not chosen – and have been left to suffer hell on earth.
orig. Oct., 2006
I’ve found there is absolutely no one that a person could believe in or trust.
The entire 9,999,000,000,000 (or what ever the ungodly population of earth is now), are just soul-less beating hearts wrapped in flesh parading around this planet as human beings. Living always just in the moment. Practicing their lies and lines, even pissin’ on whoever is too close to them, spinning blindly ever inward. Dedicated only to being the caretaker of his or her own superficial desires, cravings and perceived needs.
Money, Sex, “ends”, status, pride, want, self-pity and separate thinking is all people seem to be made of in this world.
If this is not hell than what kind of crazy magical unimaginable place could heaven be?
Maybe the rapture already came and we all just don’t realize that we are the damned - the not chosen – and have been left to suffer hell on earth.
orig. Oct., 2006
Friday, February 10, 2006
"Down to the Last"
It dawned on me at dawn today...
here is near to far away.
here is near to far away.
Thought I'd find and
think I found ..
A mounted sign:
A mounted sign:
'Don't mind the sound'.
A longing for life and long may we live...
All that we gave, and what we all give.
Passed out in back... back in the past,
Up from the start
down to the last.
Melinda Marinko 2006
Tuesday, January 17, 2006
Wednesday, January 04, 2006
Monday, December 26, 2005
Christmas is Over
This is my transitional week. I need to make one of two things happen. I have made some very bad decisions this lifetime. I pray I make the right one this time. My daughter's future is depending on this decision. Either way her and I will be together again.
Wednesday, December 14, 2005
I'm On Air
Implications everywhere
with me on the floor.
Breathe me in 'cause I'm on air
and dripping down your door.
Inspiration melts in me
blends into my core.
With powers from the blessed be
bleeding into more.
Melinda Marinko
with me on the floor.
Breathe me in 'cause I'm on air
and dripping down your door.
Inspiration melts in me
blends into my core.
With powers from the blessed be
bleeding into more.
Melinda Marinko
Tuesday, December 13, 2005
"You have those cat eyes like my Mother!"
I will never forget Grandma telling me that. It was February 2003. I was blessed to have been able to spend her 84th birthday with her that year. We all got her favorite balloons and flowers. All of her children sent something. Even Uncle Mike had stopped by. (None of us were expecting that.) Her living room soon filled up with fragrant beautiful flowers from all over and Grandma was smiles all day. I cannot remember what gifts she received but, I clearly remember her clasping her hands together under her chin and saying "this is my best birthday ever!"
I was blessed to get to know my grandma over the past 11 years during my visits to Fort Wayne Indiana. I would spend day after day with her for anywhere from 2 to 5 weeks. I will always cherish those times.
My Grandma told me about the beautiful love affair she had with my Grandpa. They fell in love while they were still in their teens. He being 2 years older caused my Great-Great Grandparents, who were raising Grandma at the time, to forbid her from seeing him. They wrote letters to eachother until she was of age. She saved those letters all these years. I was told that my two aunts, Sue and Linda read those letters to Grandma yesterday.
Grandma died last night. She had bone cancer and was in terrible terrible pain. Grandpa died of cancer 25 years ago. They are together and with her beauty-feet they are dancing in heaven now. I know this because I remember how Grandma's eyes would light up when she would tell me how sometimes she would dream they were both young again and he came and swept her up, swung her around and they danced for what seemed like forever to her.
I am truly blessed to be offspring of such a love. A deep never-ending love.
When I left Ft. Wayne in Early March 2003 Grandma said with tears in her eyes, "I'm never going to see you again, Mindy" She hugged me so tight. We both cried.
Rest in sweet beauty peace Grandma. You deserve it.
I was blessed to get to know my grandma over the past 11 years during my visits to Fort Wayne Indiana. I would spend day after day with her for anywhere from 2 to 5 weeks. I will always cherish those times.
My Grandma told me about the beautiful love affair she had with my Grandpa. They fell in love while they were still in their teens. He being 2 years older caused my Great-Great Grandparents, who were raising Grandma at the time, to forbid her from seeing him. They wrote letters to eachother until she was of age. She saved those letters all these years. I was told that my two aunts, Sue and Linda read those letters to Grandma yesterday.
Grandma died last night. She had bone cancer and was in terrible terrible pain. Grandpa died of cancer 25 years ago. They are together and with her beauty-feet they are dancing in heaven now. I know this because I remember how Grandma's eyes would light up when she would tell me how sometimes she would dream they were both young again and he came and swept her up, swung her around and they danced for what seemed like forever to her.
I am truly blessed to be offspring of such a love. A deep never-ending love.
When I left Ft. Wayne in Early March 2003 Grandma said with tears in her eyes, "I'm never going to see you again, Mindy" She hugged me so tight. We both cried.
Rest in sweet beauty peace Grandma. You deserve it.
Friday, December 09, 2005
Wednesday, December 07, 2005
Kindred Spirits
Believing that the disconnected human race here on earth are actually a part of a higher, unseen level of existence and that the souls we bring to each life aren't coming completely alone, so to speak, is the only thing keeping me from becoming a hermit. Or giving up on mankind altogether.
Tuesday, December 06, 2005
I've got a Little Black Book with my Poems In...
Got a bag, got a toothbrush and a comb in.
These words were true for me until November 22, 2005.
I have no idea where my black book of poems... my bag... my toothbrush nor comb among many other things I once possessed are.
These things are of no value to any other person on the face of the earth - but me. Still somebody decided that I couldn't possess these things anymore. Refused to say where they might be.
These words were true for me until November 22, 2005.
I have no idea where my black book of poems... my bag... my toothbrush nor comb among many other things I once possessed are.
These things are of no value to any other person on the face of the earth - but me. Still somebody decided that I couldn't possess these things anymore. Refused to say where they might be.
BODY? "check!" MIND?"check!" SOUL? SOUL? ~ahem..Hello?!~ SOUL?!!!
It seems that very few "bodies" posses a heart/soul at the core of their existence. What could be driving the staggering masses of people that lack moral's, scruples, compassion... or even Code*?
What I have found in so very few... far between ... is appearantly a fading element in the human condition. Unfortunately these souls with integrity and substance... are so worn down. By the dis-heartening...<<--- now I understand the bonafide definition of this.
behavior and treatment of the majority of the population around them.
Like that SUV commercial I've seen on Television recently that depicts the old models are falling into dust particles as the new Model is rolled out, could it it be that it doesn't matter any more how much "character" one has because where you've gone, how reliable you stayed on the way, the services you've renendered all while being a stellar person of high standards, morals, Code, aren't in fashion anymore? It isn't what's "new" you know? It's so passe!
*where I came from this word was used to describe a relied on tried and most certainly True, set of standards - honor really, amongst camaraderie i.e.;friends/classmates/co-workers//team-mates/clicks/.... dare I say even... thieves?)
Thursday, November 03, 2005
Autumn
I have a now rare opportunity to post so I am taking it.
Today as I rode the bus through town I remembered why it is that Autumn is my favorite season. It is so messy, like I am. Yet, it is a beautiful mess. All the colors on the pallet are represented.
The sky is ever changing and unpredictable.
In Oregon the autumn sky is like no other season. There are days of fierce storms interspersed with moments of blue and patchy white clouds. The rain is sideways at times and the rainbows span the sky. The creeks are full and the trees never more beautiful.
With all the changes in my life, some ugly some grand... The changes of autumn are always the beginning of the end and the promise of a new beginning that is always welcome.
I do not know when I will have access to a computer again but, I want all those who read this to know that my recent humbling is a promise of grander things for me and inspiration to once again be the creative soul I know myself to be. I wish to share this part of me with you soon. Very soon.
Today as I rode the bus through town I remembered why it is that Autumn is my favorite season. It is so messy, like I am. Yet, it is a beautiful mess. All the colors on the pallet are represented.
The sky is ever changing and unpredictable.
In Oregon the autumn sky is like no other season. There are days of fierce storms interspersed with moments of blue and patchy white clouds. The rain is sideways at times and the rainbows span the sky. The creeks are full and the trees never more beautiful.
With all the changes in my life, some ugly some grand... The changes of autumn are always the beginning of the end and the promise of a new beginning that is always welcome.
I do not know when I will have access to a computer again but, I want all those who read this to know that my recent humbling is a promise of grander things for me and inspiration to once again be the creative soul I know myself to be. I wish to share this part of me with you soon. Very soon.
Saturday, October 22, 2005
Sunday, October 16, 2005
Little guy not so little
There are some benefits in having A younger man. The energy. The looks. The renewed sense of youth in ones self. But the immaturity... the ignorance... the impatience, the need to get a clue about some basic things are lacking. If only they's just shut up and take their clothes off...tee hee
Thursday, October 06, 2005
Tuesday, October 04, 2005
I've Been in Salem
Now I am back. Salem is not what it used to be. The poverty... the tweakers.... have taken over. It is so sad.
Wednesday, September 28, 2005
Pale In May
Pale in May
Winter and lace
so cold yet I sweat
and the days of blood letting
they haunt and regret
yes i am pale in May...
what time has washed away.
Summer and wool
so hot I shiver
and the days of healing
yet to deliver
when forgetting
what time has washed away.
Melinda Marinko 9/28/05
Winter and lace
so cold yet I sweat
and the days of blood letting
they haunt and regret
yes i am pale in May...
what time has washed away.
Summer and wool
so hot I shiver
and the days of healing
yet to deliver
when forgetting
what time has washed away.
Melinda Marinko 9/28/05
Sunday, September 25, 2005
The Emerald Glass
Deep beyond the emerald glass
lies a thought in which you breath
lost inside my twisted hopes ...
and a face of make believe.
I'm consumed and always knowing ...
the emptiness is you
All I have is this desire ......
Yet you haven't got a clue
In depths, void of heart or soul
I've found a place to hide.
Where the silence cannot find me
but the laughter passes by.
How could it be I feel this way --
you hardly know me true
I used to be aloof and proud --
alone, but without you.
Melinda Lantz-Theissen Marinko
lies a thought in which you breath
lost inside my twisted hopes ...
and a face of make believe.
I'm consumed and always knowing ...
the emptiness is you
All I have is this desire ......
Yet you haven't got a clue
In depths, void of heart or soul
I've found a place to hide.
Where the silence cannot find me
but the laughter passes by.
How could it be I feel this way --
you hardly know me true
I used to be aloof and proud --
alone, but without you.
Melinda Lantz-Theissen Marinko
Friday, September 23, 2005
Tuesday, September 20, 2005
It is harder for an intelligent mind to blissfully be.
Processing all that is.... becomes a heavy weight. Misunderstood is commonplace.
The masses are not cursed with the ability to decipher the layers of reality therefore, a genius is perceived as Insane.
Have you ever entertained the notion that maybe all those committed to institutions actually were the only ones that had a clue?
There is most definately validity in the saying "Ignorance is bliss".
Processing all that is.... becomes a heavy weight. Misunderstood is commonplace.
The masses are not cursed with the ability to decipher the layers of reality therefore, a genius is perceived as Insane.
Have you ever entertained the notion that maybe all those committed to institutions actually were the only ones that had a clue?
Maybe the earthbound with power could saturate them with poison and blow them up....Maybe the "crazy guy" yelling into the air downtown is refusing to obey the
voices of the powers that be. (No, silly! I do not hear voices. I wish I did sometimes. Maybe they could give me a clue.) God only spoke to the world 2000 + years ago? If Noah's began 50 years ago building an Ark.... he'd either be committed or outcast. If even just a few of the contributors of the Bible were submitting their stories today.... they'd be publically shamed and discredited.
...but I digress. It seems to me that genius often turns to alteration of mood. "Head change"
There is most definately validity in the saying "Ignorance is bliss".
Monday, September 05, 2005
Mosh
No more blood for oil, we got our own battles to fight on our own soilNo more psychological warfare, to trick us to thinking that we ain't loyalIf we don't serve our own country, we're patronizing a heroLook in his eyes its all lies
Monday, August 22, 2005
I Am In Here
One track - empties
Empty men who lie for lust
disrespectful they breed disgust,
attractive as swine at the trough
... all they want is to just get off
Like the talkers that refuse to hear
outside views only interfere
when all they want is in your mouth
how dare you make them go without
They try to corner you into an obligation
by creating a "few dollars" situation
I wouldn't even waste sad on them
Everything they say or do
is driven by the urge to screw
Irresponsible refusing to change
If you are pretty you only have your self to blame
I don't care if your balls turn blue,
or how much money you say you blew
I am more than just my skin ....
If you want to buy bring no less than one million
disrespectful they breed disgust,
attractive as swine at the trough
... all they want is to just get off
Like the talkers that refuse to hear
outside views only interfere
when all they want is in your mouth
how dare you make them go without
They try to corner you into an obligation
by creating a "few dollars" situation
I wouldn't even waste sad on them
Everything they say or do
is driven by the urge to screw
Irresponsible refusing to change
If you are pretty you only have your self to blame
I don't care if your balls turn blue,
or how much money you say you blew
I am more than just my skin ....
If you want to buy bring no less than one million
Wednesday, August 17, 2005
Oscar Wilde
Oscar Wilde
... Nature, whose sweet rains fall of just and unjust alike,will have clefts in the rocks where I may hide,and secret valleys in whose silenceI may weep undetected. She will hang the night with stars so that I maywalk abroad in the darkness without stumbling,and send the wind over myfootprints so that none may track me to my hurt:she will cleanse me ingreat waters, and with bitter herbs make me whole.-- Oscar Wilde, -- "De Profundis"
... Nature, whose sweet rains fall of just and unjust alike,will have clefts in the rocks where I may hide,and secret valleys in whose silenceI may weep undetected. She will hang the night with stars so that I maywalk abroad in the darkness without stumbling,and send the wind over myfootprints so that none may track me to my hurt:she will cleanse me ingreat waters, and with bitter herbs make me whole.-- Oscar Wilde, -- "De Profundis"
Monday, August 15, 2005
Sunday, August 14, 2005
Monday, August 08, 2005
Tuesday, August 02, 2005
Faith Light
Love is the only, the all, the reason we're here.
Hate is a symptom, the actions, the outcome of fear.
Mine is not giving, not having or living, but the spoon.
Blind is the anger, the hater, the one forgetting so soon.
Light comes from within us, to guide us, a force from above.
Faith is our option, assistant, the drive empowering love.
Ours is not lonely, not shallow nor riddled with doubt.
We can together, find peace and a purpose, what life is about.
Copyright 2005
Hate is a symptom, the actions, the outcome of fear.
Mine is not giving, not having or living, but the spoon.
Blind is the anger, the hater, the one forgetting so soon.
Light comes from within us, to guide us, a force from above.
Faith is our option, assistant, the drive empowering love.
Ours is not lonely, not shallow nor riddled with doubt.
We can together, find peace and a purpose, what life is about.
Copyright 2005
Sunday, July 31, 2005
arrrrrgghhhh!
It seems that gainful employment isn't as easy to come by unless ones idea of gainful is barely making it.... well still in the hole really.
Tuesday, July 26, 2005
Sunday, July 24, 2005
Money
Money seems to be the root of all. All that is anymore. I cannot seem to get enough of it either.
Wednesday, July 20, 2005
Tuesday, July 19, 2005
Cryptic previous Post
I was rushed off the 'puter when I wrote the last post. The point I intended to make was that; if a person is seeking divorce due to "falling in love" with someone else and there are children from the marriage then, they should be required (by law) to take those children with them. Especially if they are under the age of 10.
Here's the logic behind my thinking: The other parent that is left devastated and alone to raise the kid and mourn the lost relationship can in no way be a parent. On many levels. I am not going to go into examples or details on why. If you think about it - you'll know what I mean.
Here's the logic behind my thinking: The other parent that is left devastated and alone to raise the kid and mourn the lost relationship can in no way be a parent. On many levels. I am not going to go into examples or details on why. If you think about it - you'll know what I mean.
Monday, July 18, 2005
Courts of Law
If Love is God and God is Love Life wouldn't be if not for Love and if something as personal and soulful as Marriage can only be broken through a Court of Law then said courts most certainly should - NO MUST Exercise their authority by taking responsibility for the impact Divorce is having on Society and well Frankly - the existence of Life - Love and Laughter.
Saturday, July 16, 2005
Painting the Rainbow
Painting The Rainbow
Living is green - the color of growing.you're part of the scene - you're naturally showing.
Anger is red - the color of blood.gone out of your head? Now rise above.
Being is clear - no color at all.and things that you fear - will color your fall.
Craving is purple - the color that's rare.you jump over hurtles to find yourself there.
Decision is gray - the color between.you bend and you sway. on one thing you lean.
Loving is gold - worthy of wealth.dont let it be sold or lay on a shelf.
Your sins are all black - the colors combined.you cant take them back there is no rewind.
Life is a rainbow you paint everyday.the 'you' that you show the life you display.
Melinda S Marinko
Copyright 2002
LADY IN WAITING Lady in waiting In a cocoon of realization Across thin ice she’s skating To reach her destination What she’ll never know is how deep it goes And when springtime comes She turns and runs. Lady in waiting On the street corner of faith Her daydreams creating Mental toxic waste What she’ll never know is how deep it goes And when her bus comes She turns and runs. Lady in waiting At dusk for the sunrise Always anticipating Until it arrives What she’ll never know is how deep it goes And when the sun comes She turns and runs. Melinda Marinko 1989
Thursday, July 07, 2005
It's 2005
In the age of total world communication and sci fiction is now science NON-fiction, I feel it's time to reach out to the masses so my family and friends don't have to listen to me anymore. Now it is your turn. 
When I return to continue this blog (can't right now - gotta go) I will spill out onto this keyboard snack sized observations. My bowl of mixed nuts, (if you will) washed down with the fermented mind altering liquid I call the "Mind of Mel Margarita".
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